Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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