Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
