I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
