if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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