When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
