were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
