It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
