I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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