This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
