a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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