So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
