I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
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