I got chris browned last night
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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