the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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