Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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