Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
