I wanna bring you to show and tell
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize