At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
