And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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