i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I still have a little drunk in my system
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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