It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
