One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
His nipple licking is glorious
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