I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
