I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
