So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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