Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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