Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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