First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize