Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
