Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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