So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize