margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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