We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
