There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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