so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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