thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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