you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
