thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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