is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
