we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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