After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
