We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
