i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you inspire me to be a worse person
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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