in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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