Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
