and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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