My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
