I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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