you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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