My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
