We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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