I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
