tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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