when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
