My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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