Plan B is the new Plan A
thus making me awesome and them whores
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
