I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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