Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize