As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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