Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
only if we run a train.
done.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
