party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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