yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
