We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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