So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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