I can't watch pbs sober anymore
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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