i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
